I’m going on retreat next week. You know how last week I was talking about how important it is for all of us to cultivate good habits with our use of technology? Well, I’m going to practice what I preach and I’m going to do the full-on digital detox for 7 whole days.
You may think, aw, I’m so jealous of you going on retreat, doing yoga, getting away from it all. And yes, it’ll be amazing. Hence my decision to go.
But also factor in me – I’m crazy-driven for MFML in particular, and I’m a very singular type of person in general. I’ve worked on MFML for every single day, 365 days a year for now 3 years. Not a single day off. Not even Christmas.
I’m not moaning. Far from it. I do what I do because I love doing it. I’m mad keen on this project and all I want to do is inspire folks to move and breathe consciously every single day. I have so many projects on right now to improve the site and our classes, my days are crammed full.
I also do all of our customer service and tech support. Because I want to personally hear, deal with and be on the button when folks need help.
Moving out of my comfort zone is so flipping hard and not fun. I’ve got, right now, about 5 different reasons I really don’t want to go, they range from my dog sitting conundrums, to concerns about the retreat and venue, to upsets with the logistics, but mostly – I worry about being away from my baby, my MFML.
This’ll be the first time in 3 years I haven’t worked for 7 days. So this is the reason why this retreat is going to be hard. I’m handing over control to Edith. Now Edith has been working with me for 18 months, she’s incredibly capable, organised and is an immense human being. But still, I find handing control for 7 days over very difficult – even if I was handing over to a clone of myself, or an advanced model of myself, I’d be in endless fear.
Frankly, I’m Terrified.
How can there be so much personal trauma around a simple little thing such as going on retreat? I suppose I decided to do something in advance, because I knew at the time that it was a good idea. But then, when it looms large, i’ll do anything I can to try to cancel, pull out, renegade on my commitment. You know how that feels – to book something and then just wish it away?
I booked it for a reason, the reason being to put some more back into ‘me’ before the hard work of the winter, to enable me to continue to be as passionate, creative, hard working and dedicated as I have been. Because I need to ‘put more money in’ before I pay out.
Pearls of Wisdom
Today we’re shooting a new series on the Chakras with Lucy McCarthy. I told her my issues, concerns and frankly, my dread for the retreat. And that I wanted to cancel it.
Lucy, sage as ever gave me some beautiful pearls of wisdom. That wisdom is that my retreat has already started. The issues that I need to be dealing with as a human being are already the issues I’m fighting, and this whole process, this entire emotional trauma I’ve somehow decided to dream up, is part of the very thing which I am needing to deal with on the retreat.
My work has started. And doesn’t our work start every single day? Every day things crop up which we dread, resent, shy away from, emotionally disconnect from and simply avoid.
The Work Of Yoga
And that’s the work of yoga, of a daily practice and of stepping out of a comfort zone. To face what it is that needs to be faced right now in this life. We all have so many unhealthy patterns, be it in our work, our family life, our spending habits, our use of technology.
And you may wonder what this has to do with stepping on the mat – everything! When we learn how to move deeply, consciously, with grace and we commit to making a daily practice – we commit to leaving comfort zones, to living the best possible life every single day. Even if we get anxious and it feels like it could be uncomfortable.
As yogis we keep committed and doing the good work.
So keep on Moving this week! Moving Out of your comfort zone, into the scary world of your biggest, brightest and best life possible.
>>Try This Loving Kindness Flow: Be Good To Yourself So You Can Be Good To Others>>
with love, Kat