We live in the age of communication and it is easier now than ever to keep in touch and to connect. So why is it so hard to talk to those who matter most?
We often fail to increase our ability or willingness to communicate on a meaningful level. The reason we neglect maintaining meaningful relationships with people who matter is that they required our most rare resource: time!
Relationships with other people thrive when you maintain them otherwise they slowly fade away. If you want twenty minutes of quality time with someone, schedule three or four hours and chances are that somewhere in the middle of that time you will have your twenty minutes.
Otherwise things get in the way: you are late, kids need you, you need to take a phone call, work or the time you have is consumed with administrative tasks and managing your life. It sometimes feel as we equate being busy with being important.
If you’re not “crazy busy” people will think something is wrong with you. But the truth is that we are busy! There is so much to do no one can even afford twenty minutes. Over the years I have made many friendships, some that lasted the test of time but there are a lot of them that turned into acquaintances simply as we could never find time to maintain them.
In this busy age of communication there is a tendency for us to try to contain our relationships on Facebook instead of having that ‘old fashioned’ face-to-face contact. Technology has completely shifted the definition of friendship. With the click of a button, we can add a friend or leave a mark on their timeline.
It’s fantastic to quickly reconnect with old friends, start new relationships with people around the world who share similar interests, and check on those friends who don’t live nearby, however it’s never the same as having a close friend you can turn to or be with.
Scrolling the news feeds will give us a great insight of what your friends are up to but we should make it a priority to stay in touch in the real world, people around us, people who may not be physically around just now but who you can call or visit and have a mindful conversation rather than just a ‘like’ button.
You’ will get a lot more out of an in-person conversation than you will over text or social media comments. With time I realised that despite their importance, close friendships don’t just happen. Instead of waiting for the other person to make a move or something dramatic to happen to bring us together, I need to nurture and invest in those people.
It’s a process that requires time, effort, and a genuine interest in the other person.
This post was written by Daria Wall, who began her yoga journey in 2008. She quickly became interested in Forrest Yoga and travelled across the world to train with Ana Forrest and completed the Forrest Yoga Foundation Teacher Training in Hong Kong. Her curiosity and fascination with anatomy and biomechanics of the human body sent her to Thailand where she begun her journey with an international yoga teacher, author, acupuncturist and health & wellness specialist, Tiffany Cruikshank, with whom she is completing the 500 hour certification. Daria is trained in full body massage, myofascial release, Thai massage and Chinese medicine. She completed the Professional Thai Massage 150 Hour training at the Thai Massage School of Chiang Mai, Thailand. She is also a certified Open Water Diver and runs a company called DP Wellbeing that delivers fitness, yoga, massage and nutrition guidance, classes, workshops and treatments across Dundee and Broughty Ferry in Scotland.