At this time of year, we’re starting to prepare for Valentine’s day. It’s a day full of so much tension for so many of us. Those of us in happy relationships often feel that it’s a day full of pressure to impress. And those who are single are left to feel that single is a less than ideal state of affairs. So try these valentines day ideas to fall in love with yourself this year!
The job of being a yogi is to feel equanimity no matter what external circumstances life offers. So those in relationships may feel just as loving and loved on valentine’s day as any other, and singles feel just as contented with their status as ever.
But reality strikes – who actually, in real life feels this?
Here are 5 valentines day ideas that I’ve found essential to fall head over heels in love. With myself.
1. Turn off your Social Media, don’t listen to adverts
Companies spend gazillions and employ the best and the brightest to find ways of telling you that you’re not good enough. If you were good enough already, they’d be no need for you to buy their products. So it’s their job to make sure that you don’t feel OK in yourself. You don’t have a perfect life? A perfect face? A perfect body? That’s just wonderful for these companies because they have the solution to make your imperfect life/body and soul just wonderful.
So the first thing to do to fall in love with yourself is to not listen to marketing messages. Be very selective and exercise plenty of discernment in who you listen to, and how. Just know that most of these corporations thrive because you hate yourself. Learn to turn your back on these messages and listen to yourself.
2. Don’t care what other people think
Many of us, especially women, seem to really glow under a compliment. Many of these compliments are from those who love and support us, these are wonderful, listen to these. But know that everything that anyone says about you is a reflection of their state of mind, and many folks have an agenda, even if that agenda’s not very obvious and isn’t dark – it’s just personal to them.
Of course it’s pretty cool to hear compliments and we all love them. So lap them up if they make you feel good. But often even a compliment will make us feel lacking. In some way ‘you look great’ makes us wonder, wow, was i so bad before? Take compliments with a bucket full of salt.
And when people say things which are less than complimentary, just notice, how did that make you feel. Look at that person, in the person’s eyes, and see that what they say is all about them, and little about you.
The trick to starting to not care what other people think is the realisation that most people are too busy caring about themselves, or looking at themselves to really take your deepest hopes and needs in – so there’s really no need to worry about what others are thinking of you. Chances are, in the kindest of ways, they’re not even thinking about you.
This one question I heard solidified this belief. The question – what photo of someone else have you seen that makes you feel that you really hate the way they look? In the audience, there was no photo. Of course, you don’t really hate the way others look. But are there any photos of yourself you really hate? Chances are, yes there are photos of yourself you hate, but never pictures of others. So you see, we don’t have the strong feelings of dislike for others that we reserve for ourselves!
3. Take time out for yourself in the evenings
You may have family commitments, you may often work late, or maybe you have a social life that leaves you a whirlwind of an evening. But make a date with yourself, and put it out in your calendar once every week or so. It’s your night, so make it special – long, hot bath, a Yin yoga class in your PJ’s.
Change your sheets and then massage your hands, feet and legs when you’re getting into bed. A lovely way to spend ‘date night’ with yourself and really woo yourself. Treat yourself like you’re the best person in the world, which you are.
4. Don’t accept Ordinary
Many of us accept what we’re given and are told to be grateful for it. We accept what we’re told to do by folks, mostly without questioning. Many of us willingly and happily jump on the treadmill that we’re offered.
We take the job, take the class at 7.30 because it fits in with the job, take the house, because we’re expected to, and yes, we do the same for relationships. We take what we’re meant to like – the perfect for everyone else, but maybe not for us. So start to consciously bespoke your life. Every single aspect of it. Bespoke your job, your yoga, your lifestyle and your relationship choices. Every single day, every breath you take there is a choice. Actively choose your life and make it your life’s work to bespoke every single aspect of your life. No ‘oughts’, no ‘shoulds’ no decisions from fear. If every decision were made from a point of absolute self-love, self-acceptance, and self-belief, what would your life look like?
What could your life look like? If now you still have the fears, well how about imagining that you didn’t. Just pretend you didn’t have anything to fear whatsoever and just start to imagine what your life, fuelled by love could look like… maybe you’ll find that your life starts to look quite extraordinary…
Oh, and on this point of bespoking, of course, that’s something that is incredibly important to me – hold true to yourself and bespoke your home yoga practice. Practice only what you need on that day, at that moment, and make a commitment to do nothing else but what you need.
5. See the Beauty All around you
One sure fire way to fall in love is to see the beauty that surrounds you. I’ve found that my yoga practice is a way of deepening, of connecting to spirit, to the deepest part of myself. And doing that helps me to see the beauty all around me, and when I’m enchanted, seeing the beauty in everything around me, I’m more able to accept, and yes, finally fall in love with myself.
We have come up with our Embrace Your Essence challenge especially to help you to fall back in love with yourself. We recommend you start it today and then by Valentine’s day, you’ll be truly, madly, deeply in love.
This post was written by our fabulous founder, Kat Farrants