To me self-love are actions that help me to grow both physically, psychologically and in a sense spiritually. Self-love is dynamic and the more we grow and mature the more self-love evolves. Loving ourselves isn’t a one-time event. It’s an endless, on-going process.
Self-love is about allowing yourself to be emotionally honest and letting go of blocking your feelings. Shopping, eating, and drinking are examples of avoiding the real problem, sadness or pain. It’s also about reminding yourself of your own worthiness. We’re taught by society that our worth is found in everything but us: the technology, finances, sex, power, etc. Feeling worthy requires you to see yourself with fresh eyes and you don’t have to be any different to be worthy.
Self-love is about the way we talk to ourselves. It would be nice if we could control the stormy weather in our minds. A lot of it is nonsense, and a lot of it can make us feel bad about ourselves. Self-love starts when we begin to accept our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain and justify and practice empathy for ourselves as human beings. Self-love also means boundaries and limits especially in terms of work, love and relationships with people who may suck our energy out like vampires.
Self-love begins with you but practicing it can be challenging, especially in times when we face serious challenges. It’s not about being self-absorbed or narcissistic, it’s about getting in touch with us and our physical as well as emotional wellbeing.
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
You can make an endless list of self loving tips but how about starting with just three?
1. Become mindful
If you want to take control over your own growth and wellbeing you need to start paying attention to what you really think, feel and want. Being mindful of who you are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for you. If you decide against your intuition, acknowledge this and ask yourself why did you do it? Is it worth it? Is this what you really want? Will it make you a better person?
2. Self care
If you have issues with valuing your own time, pick one day a week to focus entirely on yourself. Nourish your body with wonderful food and drink, take an extra long shower, catch up on your sleep, read something that inspires you. Show yourself love just like you would your significant other.
3. Forgive yourself
It may not always work! And when it doesn’t we can be so hard on ourselves. Remember that every mistake is a new lesson. You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect), before you can truly love yourself.
This post was written by Daria Wall, who began her yoga journey in 2008. She quickly became interested in Forrest Yoga and travelled across the world to train with Ana Forrest and completed the Forrest Yoga Foundation Teacher Training in Hong Kong. Her curiosity and fascination with anatomy and biomechanics of the human body sent her to Thailand where she begun her journey with an international yoga teacher, author, acupuncturist and health & wellness specialist, Tiffany Cruikshank, with whom she is completing the 500 hour certification. Daria is trained in full body massage, myofascial release, Thai massage and Chinese medicine. She completed the Professional Thai Massage 150 Hour training at the Thai Massage School of Chiang Mai, Thailand. She is also a certified Open Water Diver and runs a company called DP Wellbeing that delivers fitness, yoga, massage and nutrition guidance, classes, workshops and treatments across Dundee and Broughty Ferry in Scotland.